HoneySuckle Love Read online

  “I was worried about you after our little chat today sweetie I am so glad to see you’re not sulking in your room.”

  “Never do I sulk Aunt Cathy.” I pushed the chair out from under the table and stood up, looking to Jessie for support. But he had already moved, almost as fast as the Flash, to stand next to me, holding my hand. “Ready to go home?” I asked him just a bit too loud.

  “Beth will be glad to hear you are doing okay, now that I see you found another male suitor to replace Albert.”

  That was all it took for my anger inside to ripple to the top. I couldn’t take it anymore. I squeezed Jessie’s hand and then stormed over to my aunt. My dear beloved aunt who had her head so far up her ass she could probably smell her own feces.

  “Aunt Cathy, please inform your slutty tramp of a daughter that no matter how I am doing it is frowned upon in all cultures to sleep with ones cousin’s fiancé. Especially days after the engagement was finalized. Furthermore, you should tell her that if I were her I would sleep with one eye open for the next year because I have half the nerve to come after that traitorous witch of a cousin and if she is lucky, lucky! I will forgive her sometime this decade. But also thank her for me. Because at least now I know before I married him what a cock sucker he is and she is free to keep on sucking him.”

  I stormed off, Jessie on my heals following me. I knew my face was full of bright red coloring, my heart was racing. But I felt good. I at least told someone kind of related to all of the issues exactly how I felt. It took a solid forty five seconds for me to even realize that some of the other patrons of the restaurant were clapping, for me. Great I really made a spectacle of myself this time. Oh well it felt good to let out the anger.

  “Merewyn get back here!” I heard Aunt Cathy yelling.

  “Just keep walking M. I’ll get you home safe and sound.”

  “I know you will Jessie. That’s why I have always trusted you.

  “I loved it.” Jessie was laughing so hard as we walked into his apartment. The room looked spotless, almost too clean.

  “That movie hands down, best of the decade.”

  “I don’t know if I would go that far, I mean Chris Pratt is the man and all but a super hero movie, that’s the best of the decade? What about those Emmy winning award type flicks.”

  “Look the best part about opinions is anyone can be right, it doesn’t matter. You can’t say I’m wrong and I can’t say you’re wrong.”

  “You know,” Jessie grinned a devilish grin, “I can do the dance.”

  “What dance?”

  The look he was giving me now was stunningly scary. I couldn’t tell if he was giving off this devilish bad boy vibe or this big kid I just want to have fun vibe.

  “Chris Pratt’s.”

  “I didn’t know he had a dance, is this like doing the ‘Kevin Bacon’?”

  “From Guardians of the Galaxy that entry he does the dance. I can do it.” Jessie looked so happy and proud. He was always light on his feet and felt the rhythm inside him that just couldn’t be matched by anyone else in our town.

  “Uh huh, I am sure you can. It didn’t look that hard if I remember it right.”

  “Hard isn’t the right word, it’s all about the technique and keeping with the beat.”

  “I’m sure you have practiced it over and over, haven’t you Jessie. Just to say you can do it and impress the ladies.”

  “Does it impress you Merweyn Jane Smith?’

  “I don’t know Jessie Joseph James.”

  “You know I hate that nick name you call me. Can’t you use my real name?”

  “Jessie Maron Anderson is so boring. I like my J to the third nickname.”

  “Whatever you say M, so long as you’re impressed.”

  “Hot shot, why don’t you show me your moves then I will tell you if I am impressed.” I gave him the toothiest grin I could. I loved flirting with him and being playful. He was always just so easy to be myself around. The more time I was spending with him, the more I realized that Albert was his exact opposite. I wondered if that was some self-conscious thing that I had done, picked someone exactly opposite of my first love.

  Before I realized it, Jessie was pulling out a jacket from his closet, popping in a CD into his radio and the room filled with music from the eighties. The best generation of lyrics and rhythm. The beat started the down beats of the drum, the strumming of the guitar and then the words. I could almost picture him walking through the cave and kicking the rat like creatures.

  Jessie was grabbing the remote off of the couch and singing ‘Hey now, Hey now, what’s the matter...” into it. While he was an excellent dancer his singing left a lot to be desired. I kept smiling though, because this ninety seconds of music, watching Jessie dance, just made me happy.

  “Well?” He asked me grinning.

  “Well, you look like the Cheshire cat.” I said chuckling.

  “I feel like him.” Jessie crossed the distance of the room and came to stand in front of me. I looked up into his crystal blue eyes, which could remind you of an ocean if you drifted off into them. “Were you impressed?”

  I nodded my head up and down twice and then did something that shocked me; I put my arms around his neck and pulled him into me, kissing his lips with passion and excitement.

  Jessie didn’t expect her to be the aggressor but he wasn’t going to waste any moments of good luck. He placed one hand on the small of her back and the other in her hair. He held her to his body so tight you wouldn’t have been able to tell where he stopped and she started. He was fully aware that what he was doing was playing with fire and that it was very possible that one or both of them would end up hurt. But he couldn’t make his mind give the command to back down.

  The biggest mistake of his life was letting her go. It didn’t matter the reasons they broke up before, no other woman ever compared to how she was. They were great together and he let someone else slip in and steal away that love. He knew that he had to take this carefully with his Merewyn. She was hurting and would be for a while. He wasn’t okay with the idea of being a rebound. He wanted to be her future. And today would be the start of him making the case that he was in fact the man for that job.

  She smelled of lavender. The best smell in the world to him. He could recall with perfect clarity the night they both lost their virginity together. Her bed was so small. He must have hit his head on the wall a dozen times that night but that didn’t bother him. Merewyn was beautiful that evening. And today, standing in his arms kissing him, she smelled exactly the same, and was still just was beautiful.

  “Jessie,” she said his name in that breathless sexy sort of way.

  “Shh, just let it happen.”

  He wasn’t about to let her change her mind now. Somehow he had pushed them up against his hallway wall and he now had his hands pressed against the wall framing her face. “I’m so sorry.” He heard himself say.

  “For what?” Her kisses were just as powerful and full of compassion as his; he could feel it in his heart.

  “Ever letting you go.”

  That was all he needed to say. He felt her move from against him and as his eyes followed her he knew he was grinning like a fool. When she opened the door to his bedroom his heart felt like it was going to jump out of his chest. He rushed towards her and pushed her backwards to the bed. The back of her legs were pressing against the side of the mattress. All he had to do was lower her to the surface.

  “Oh baby,” words were coming out of him that he didn’t exactly know what they were but it seemed to be working. He felt her start to dip backwards. He wrapped his arms around her, securing her against him as he took them both down to the surface of the bed.

  “Protection?”

  Jessie shook his head back and forth and when he felt her body tense up he said, “Not right now, right now is all about you. I’m going to make you forget any bits of pain you may still have.”

  Her blouse was easy to remove. He simply unbuttoned the dainty
pink buttons on her pink shirt and watched it drop from chest. It was the white lacy bra that he now looked at that had him cursing.

  “Damn M.”

  Her eye glazed over and looked up at him and she asked, “What?”

  “You’re just, magnificent. And that bra, god, it’s killing me.” He leaned down and nibbled her pebbling bud through the material. The sound of her letting out a moan was all the approval he needed for his body to continue.

  His left hand came up to her free breast and started playing with the other nipple. He felt her body arc against him and that gave his right hand room to travel under her back and then down to her bottom. He squeezed her curvy cheek and let his hips grind into her. Jessie knew his hardened length would tell her just how much he wanted her, no needed her.

  “Wait here.” He whispered into her breast as he stopped playing and then pushed himself up off of the bed. “I mean it do not move.”

  Jessie rushed from the bedroom and into the kitchen. He always wanted to do this to her when they were young but never had the chance to because they were never able to be alone in their homes without interruption. He pulled open the refrigerator and pulled out the whipped cream and some cherries. Then he found the chocolate syrup. He was going to let his fantasy come to life tonight and there would be no interruptions.

  “Where did you go?” He heard Merewyn call out asking.

  “I told you I would be right back, do not move M!” He thought his voice sounded a bit too eager but that was fine. He usually worried about women judging him but not her. He finished pulling the items out and placing them on a tray and then began walking back to the bedroom.

  I had no idea what he was off in the other room doing but lying on his bed, my shirt displaying my chest and my body tingling made me so nervous. Of course this is what I wanted but it was Jessie. It was a line we were crossing that hadn’t been crossed in so long. Was it smart? Did I even care if it was?

  Not really. I decided it didn’t matter what happened tomorrow tonight would be about us, and about me being happy. It had been the worst week of my life and my hero was back. I just hope this time my heart wasn’t left in a million pieces. That’s what I had to remember. That no matter what I cannot expect anything from this.

  My heart was racing so fast I thought it would explode right there in my ribcage.

  And then he walked back in, carrying a tray of what looked like food.

  “Jessie?”

  “Yes?”

  “Please tell me you did not stop to go get a snack.”

  “Okay I won’t tell you that.”

  A laugh escaped my lips nervously because the look he was giving me made me think that I was the snack he was about to eat.

  “You see Merewyn Jane Smith, I had a dream.”

  “Oh? You had a dream…” I said teasingly. “All great speeches start like that.”

  I watched him shake his head grinning, “Oh I think this dream is much better. You see, I had a dream of eating a Sunday.”

  “Yum.”

  “But not just any Sunday, a Merewyn Sunday.”

  “Sounds messy.”

  “God I hope so.” Jessie’s voice was so light yet serious it warmed my heart and that’s when I decided to shut my mind off for the rest of the night and just enjoy whatever was to come.

  “Is there enough for a Jessie Sunday?”

  He shook his head back and forth and I felt my lips turn into a frown. “That doesn’t seem fair,” I said in minor protest.

  “I told you tonight was about you and by you I mean me fulfilling my fantasy.”

  The laugh that I gave felt so good, so heart felt, so happy. I sat up from the bed and let the shirt fall completely off my arms and when I reached around for my bra I heard him say, “No. I will undress you that is part of the fun. Like peeling away the layers of this banana here.”

  He reached onto the tray and pulled up a bright yellow banana. The ideas I suddenly had made my face flush red and that caused Jessie to grin.

  “I like the way your mind goes.”

  “You have no way to know what I was thinking.”

  “Trust me M. I know. And I approve of that thought.”

  He walked to the bed and let the items on the tray move to eye level. “You’re going to need a shower by the time I am done with you.”

  “I didn’t bring any soap, will you help me?” I teased.

  “Oh baby I’ll do more than help, I’ll do all the work.”

  Chapter Six

  Waking up in Jessie’s arms almost felt surreal but then I realized we had slept through to the next day and now I would have to do the walk of shame to my folks. That was not something I was looking forward to. Plus, I needed to get to work today and I had no spare clothes with me. It looked like the sun was just starting to crest and dawn was on the horizon. Better now than later to wake up prince charming.

  “Hey you awake?” I nudged my shoulder against his and when he started to stir I felt a twinge of guilt for having to stop this moment away from reality.

  “Alarm hasn’t gone off.” He mumbled and then wrapped his arms tighter around my body.

  That little motion felt like heaven. Albert never would do this. He didn’t cuddle. We slept back to back if we touched at all. This with Jessie felt so, intimate.

  “I have no choice, I have to go to work and I need food. You were the only one who ate anything last night.”

  “You can eat tonight if you want.” He said in that sleepy sexy voice of his.

  The way he said those words did something to my heart and that scared me. It almost felt like it was too much too fast. But after you eat a Sunday off of a person, twice, and then make love two more times, was it really too fast for him to say that? Maybe I was just over thinking. I know I do that, Albert used to complain all the time about me making mountains out of molehills. But this is different.

  “Hey Merewyn what’s wrong?”

  I smiled and shook my head while saying, “Nothing.”

  “Liar, what’s on that pretty little mind of yours?” He leaned down and kissed my neck. The gesture so sweet and yet it still scared me.

  “Last night was perfect Jessie.”

  “You can say that again. My teenage self cannot believe it happened like that.”

  “So the fantasy wasn’t better than reality?”

  “Hell no. Reality blew my fantasy out of the water.” His lips were grinning ear to ear as he spoke.

  A real smile passed over my lips and it felt great to have someone really feel that way about me.

  “M, what’s on your mind.”

  “I don’t want to talk about it.” I turned over and lay with my back against his chest. I felt him move and then heard him get out of the bed. Jessie walked across the room, naked as the day he was born. His butt cheeks were paper white but the rest of his backside was the perfect brownish tan color. He was such a gorgeous piece of man. Any woman in her right mind would be lucky to have him. Yet I could have him and was sitting here talking myself out of it.

  Idiot. I thought to myself. With no words exchanged I got out of bed and then we both began to dress. As he left his room and went into the kitchen I felt a bit of relief with his absence. I could really breathe. It wasn’t that he was suffocating me, but the idea of moving into something more with him was suffocating.

  “I’ll drive you home whenever you’re ready.” He said from the other room. I could hear his keys jingling through the open doorway.

  “I’m ready now just putting on my shoes.” My body was shaking and I had no idea if it was excitement or fear.

  While walking out of his room I took the time to actually take in his apartment not just look at it. Everything was in its proper spot. There were family photos and pictures of him and his friends hanging on the walls. One picture caught my eye and made me stop in my tracks. It was the picture our friend took one weekend ten years ago. We were just kids. Kids in love.

  I looked long and hard at that pictu
re. About a dozen of us had gone to the lake that day. One of the guys had their dad’s boat and we all took turns riding out into the water and tubing. It was one of the best days I could have remembered from high school. And there it was, hanging on Jessie’s wall. Framed and all.

  “We were happy weren’t we?” He said from beside me.

  A nod was all I could manage because my voice felt dried up. This was a huge mistake. I couldn’t do it. I never should have let Jessie come over yesterday and now I was going to hurt him. Hurt me. Neither of us deserved that.

  “You were smiling that whole day. The yellow bikini you had on was adorable. I kept picturing what it would be like to pull your strap and see if your tan line was as sexy as I kept imagining it to be.”

  I couldn’t help laughing, it was a funny thought. I would have freaked out back then, well, I would freak out today too if anyone did that to me in public. “You were just a horny teen who wanted in my pants.”

  “Hey I was more than that!” He protested.

  The look on my face told him I didn’t buy that.

  “Okay maybe not much more than that. But I did love you.”

  Did. That should have been relief to hear but it wasn’t. That was my cue to go.

  “I know. Come on, I have to get home.”

  Jessie grabbed my hand to stop me from moving forward. “You’re not going to tell me what is wrong at all?”

  “No. Come on, my dad’s probably up and I want to make sure I am back before mom sees me. Dad I can handle, mom not so much.”

  The car ride to my house was done in silence. It wasn’t a peaceful silence like it would have been yesterday but an awkward one that made you sick to your stomach. The kind that told you nothing good was going to happen and in fact hang on because some kind of bomb may in fact explode.

  When he put the car in park in front of my house I tried to get out quickly but he placed his head on my knee.

  “Merewyn, tell me what is wrong. I’m not going to ask again.”

  Confession time. I sighed and then began to tell him. “This is moving too quick.”